A New Me

I have done some drastic changing this year. I have stepped down at work from supervisor'ish to just employee, and completely changed my schedule from stay at home mom during the week and workaholic during weekends, to real life working. This will be the first time I have ever had a weekend off since I was in high school, and that was a long time ago.

I have so much to do... I started with the flower bed in the front of our house. Last night, well after the sun went down, I was digging away at dirt and cement thingys trying to make better since of what was the flower bed in the front yard. As I'm digging away, the neighbor comes out and says " You're probably the first person in 5 years that's cared about what the flower bed looks like", and I could tell. I am a girl that hates to get her hands dirty! As a little girl, I hear stories of bloody curl screaming when my grandmother tried to get me to dig in the flower beds with her, and immediately demanding to be bathed to get all that reched dirt off me.

I think I've grown up a little now. I was on hands and knees (with gloves on...let's not go totally crazy), piling dirt and taking away dirt to get pavers levelish for the border of my new flower bed, that's going to be great for curb appeal I might add. I am really enjoying having a house of my own to do whatever I want to it. We've only been living here for about 5months, but I think we've already made it better. We have a lot more to do to make it exactly what we want, but it's just going to take some time. I wish we could just do it all now, but here's where patience is going to have to take a front seat in our instant gradifying life we once had and are now paying for. OMG... I think I'm starting to sound like a grown up... yuck!

Craft Crazy

I am desperate to find something that I am into this year. My husband has too many hobbies to count, but me... not so much. I do everything for my husband and kids, and although he has begged me to find something, I just can't. Until Christmas.

Every one who likes making things and creating dreams to have a craft room. Just moving into a new house a few months ago, we finally have room for an office. My Love gave me half the room, and bought me my first hobby. I have always loved the idea of scrapbooking, but just haven't had the funds or room to do it. Jim bought me a Cricut for Christmas, and I didn't see it coming. Then came a nice art desk, and now a sewing machine.

I haven't really done all that much, and am having a blast. My husband is so wonderful to give me such a gift as something he knows I love, but just never had the thought to start. From all the frustration at work and life in general, I finally have an escape to do something that fits me. I love taking old and making new. I love seeing other people's ideas and changing them into my own something special. I owe it all to the love of my life. Without him, I might go insane. Let's see what things I can come up with now.

Never to early to try something new.

I know everyone says it, but I am the luckiest girl in the world! I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, and recently a new house. You could say I have it all... but somewhere along the way I have lost who I really am. I know it's a problem many of us struggle with. I have been so wrapped up in living for my family that I lost the things I love to do.

 I have a very exciting job and am one of the lucky few to be able to have the best of both worlds. I stay at home with my children four days out of the work, and work full time three days. Between home and work, ballet classes and school I haven't had a lot of time to myself. I will not be so lucky in the next few weeks. My schedule at work will be such that I won't be able to make long term plans because of the constant shift of days I will be working.

As if I didn't have enough to do, I also recently went back to school because, although I love my job as an xray tech at a major hospital I am wanting something more. I want to do something that means something. I used to love going to work and found it thrilling seeing all the stuff I get to see in a level 1 trauma center, but somewhere along the way I found myself slightly jaded to it. With this new schedule being forced at work, I will not have the time to go to school like I need to so I am going to have to put school on the back burner until I can figure out that part.

I have also decided that I am tired to hating my body. Two beautiful children have done some horrible things to this body of mine. I have never been the tiny girl, but this is getting out of hand. I have always seen myself as "fat" because of how I was raised, and don't want my daughter to get into the same habits and twisted self image I have and need to change! I started going to the gym after my son was 3 months old and have done a pretty good job sticking to the routine, but the new schedule at work also has me thinking about dropping my membership even though I love going. Seeing a trend??? This job is starting to get in my way of the life I am trying to create ,and momma ain't happy 'bout it.

You are supposed to create a job that fits around your family, and not a family that has to fit around your job. What is this girl to do?? I haven't quite figured it out yet, but talking about it sure can't help. Be with me as I struggle to find a true happiness. This is going to be a bumpy ride.